Hey Hi My Lovelies! My name is Tanya Hooper and I post on TanyaTale every Friday at 7pm! We are heading back into the TaleTime segment this week. For those of you who are new to the blog TaleTime has been a chance for me to share some of my real life (and super embarrassing) stories with you! Why? So that if you ever feel down or feel as if your life is a mess you can simply look at this post and realise that in comparison to some of the situations I have muddled myself into and out of, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
This week I am trying something new on TaleTime. Since developing the plan to make this a segment on the blog I’ve been questioning how much I should reveal. How I should paint myself (other than a mess). I have tried to keep an overwhelming amount of these TaleTime posts funny or awkward but mostly positive. This story I am planning to share today isn’t the usual type of thing. This story features an argument.
The Argument was nothing major but I feel as if I want to share this story with you because everyone argues. Everyone goes through fights and breakups and since the aim of TanyaTale’s TaleTime segment was to be #relatable I figured we had to explore this. So please do share your support by clicking that like button and don’t forget to subscribe to me!
Everybody argues. Even Disney princesses had a little bitch about their step mothers now and again (I’m looking at you Cinderella and your fairy god mother). So I am not ashamed to admit that I am human and I have been in my fair share of arguments now and again.
However, this argument was potentially the most stressful argument I have ever been in. In 2015 I had just completed my GCSE exams and was surrounded by a wonderful group of 8 people. By the start of 2016, I was struggling through my AS exams with 2 friends. How? Well that is what I am here to tell you.
Over the summer of 2015 I was graced with an opportunity of which I was DEFINATLEY excited about. I had the chance to go to a summer camp for three weeks with one of my friends. For the purpose of this story I am not going to name names because I am not writing this to bitch. I am writing this to share that EVERYONE gets into arguments.
So my friend and I went on our summer camp and were placed into a group of 12 people. The first week was amazing. I have not got a single bad memory about the first week of camp and we were all getting along brilliantly.
The second week saw trouble. We had been together for too long and with no time for ourselves. The weather was bad and we were camping. We weren’t sleeping, we were cold and we were CONSTANTLY DAMP. So there was no question as to why we were all getting a little grouchy.
About halfway through the week I had been having a ‘bad day.’ In which I hadn’t really wanted to speak to anyone and so, like a person trying to avoid conflict I didn’t really speak to anyone that day. At the end of the day I had said to the girl I had gone with “I am sorry for being in a bad mood” and her response shocked and upset me.
She told me that I had been ruining the trip for everyone since the beginning. She told me that once we got home she probably wouldn’t want to spend any time with me and she would take 2 of the girls and I could “have the rest.”
Now I am clearly subjective in this story. Perhaps I had been ruining the camp for my group but I hadn’t noticed. No one had let on. We were all getting along brilliantly – so I thought.
The next week and a half went on and nothing really developed.
Next thing you know the two girls she wanted to “take” had stopped talking to me – to a 16 year old this was the end of the world. Throughout the whole summer one of my friends had been on holiday and so when she returned for her birthday she found that the tight knit friendship group she had left had begun to drift apart.
Results day drew around and being the stressful day it was everyone was on edge. I opened my results and saw my grades and burst out in tears as one of the grades wasn’t as high as I had hoped. With hindsight 7A/A*, 5B and 1C isn’t bad but to me it was the end of the world.
One of the other girls had done really well and so being around me made her “uncomfortable”. I understood. She wanted to be happy and considerate and she couldn’t do both. So instead she chose to lie to me and go off with my summer camp friend. I was hurt. I was even more hurt when the girl who I had considered to be one of my closest friends didn’t even invite me to her birthday.
Another month passes and another birthday rolls around. We decided to throw a surprise party and I offered up my house as the perfect location. We were all there. For the first time all summer I finally felt like we were all getting back on track. As the evening drew to a close I hugged my summer camp friend goodbye and she whispered, “I am so glad things aren’t awkward anymore.”
Truth bomb, I didn’t like her very much anymore. I didn’t dislike her either. It just happened that we had grown apart and we no longer had as much in common as we had once thought. Did I want a big drama, a big fall out. No.
The next week I heard from someone who went to my college that the summer camp friend had been bitching about me. She said that “Tanya made it so awkward – I am glad I don’t have to see her again.”
My reply, ” I don’t really like her anymore, we aren’t really friends.”
RULE 1 – NEVER SAY ANYTHING YOU WOULDN’T HAVE WRITTEN ON YOUR SKIN
A day passed and her two friends had found out and were on the war path. I spent a whole day dodging and darting into and our of classrooms in a pathetic attempt to avoid the girls I once thought were my friends. I do accept that my guilt was because I had bitched.
They didn’t find me.
The next day I was shown something on Snapchat “Ugly ginger giant” “Freaky she tranny”. I was mortified. I never thought someone who was supposed to be my friend would do this to me.
RULE 2 – NEVER TAKE A FIGHT TO SOCIAL MEDIA
I spoke to the girls looking for me. I was calm and collected (as suggested by my level headed friend). I confessed that I should not have been bitching but also mentioned that I was hurt by what had been said online and their reply… “That’s just what she is like.” The cheek of it. I was given no support from them.
But more appalled than I, my level headed friend. She was shocked that they would justify that behaviour and hence began the drift between EVERYONE.
Another friend chose to get involved, putting on Snapchat some comment about the girl being ugly. That was too far.
RULE 3 – NEVER GET INVOLVED IN SOMEONE ELSES DRAMA
I was stressed. I was upset. I began to hate going to college in fear of seeing my “ex-friends” I would cry myself to sleep and get anxiety walking into the café. It was not a good experience. On top of that the work from college was piling up and I was feeling like I couldn’t keep my head above water.
The fight was never resolved and truth be told leaving things the way they were (2 years of complete awkwardness) is one of my biggest regrets.
There never was any fights. There never were any shouting matches. Truth be told it was the most cliché high school drama of bitching and sly comments you could get but it really did take its toll.
Because of one fight, which to everyone else seems silly, irrelevant, I have been so scared about experiencing things everyone should get a chance to experience. Firstly it had lead to be biggest fear developing. Because of this cold war I now am terrified about spending too much time with people. which made going on a girls holiday difficult. which made going to university stressful.
So I hope that you enjoyed that. I know it was a little bit different from my normal TaleTime on Tanyatale but I really wanted to be able to show to all you lovely people that everyone gets into fights and though it can take its toll it also makes you aware and prepared for the future. It helps you grow as a person. So if you did like that please hit the like button and don’t forget to subscribe!