TaleTime “Naked, Policeman, Party”

Hey hi my lovelies! My name is Tanya Macpherson I upload posts every Friday at 7pm. Welcome to another TaleTime post on TanyaTale where I share with you some of my most embarrassing life moments with hopes that you can find some entertainment in my misery.

Now I would like to forewarn you that this story really doesn’t portray me in the best light – don’t worry, I didn’t do anything too damning – but I would like you to know that this is not normally me.

Before we begin there is some context you might want to have
1) This was my first beach party
2) The party was to celebrate the end of a summer camp which had involved lots of drama
3) My friend and I were only two of a few people who didn’t live in walking distance from the beach and rather we lived about an hours train ride away
4) I had intended to be on my best behaviour …

Let me start by listing the good decisions I made that night – just to prove that I had nothing but good intentions when I had arrived.
Firstly, while others were drinking Vodka and Rum and other very high percentage alcohols, I had taken along a single bottle 4% premade cocktail … I was not expecting nor planning to get tipsy let alone drunk.
Secondly, when we arrived there were still families with young children on the beach and so despite others drinking, I refused to begin drinking until the families had all gone home.
Thirdly, I would get home before curfew. I would be home before midnight.
Fourthly, I refused to break the law. Now this may be a given but perhaps if I had of broken the law and peed in a public place that night I could have saved myself A LOT of embarrassment.

So let’s get on with the story. Seven o’clock struck and the beach was finally beginning to clear. Families had all gone home and the only people left on the beach were teens looking to party and let off steam. By this point everyone else had been drinking for an hour and so they were all loud and partying and comfortable and I … well I was not. I made the mistake of feeling like I had to catch up with everyone, or at least have a drink so that I could relax and enjoy the party. My friend and I opened our drinks and both took a sip when she made the weirdest noise I think I have ever heard in my life. She had bought a bottle of vodka and nothing to mix it with and never having tried alcohol before she was startled at the burning sensation it had left her with.
This was when I made the first mistake.
I thought that I could be a good friend and so offered to swap drinks with her. I said that since I liked vodka and she liked WKD we could swap and change and share between the two of us so that she wasn’t stuck with a drink she didn’t like all night. She took me up on that opportunity… but she didn’t return the favour. She took the WKD and disappeared leaving me with the bottle of Vodka. I drank too much. That was my first mistake and that was completely on me.

A few drinks down the road and I was completely drunk and being on the beach I thought it was a good idea to go for a little walk … towards the sea. I don’t quiet remember how but I went home missing a shoe that night and I am pretty sure that the sea gained a new accessory. As I wandered back up the beach I was handed my phone by a stranger who had told me that they had been looking after it for me. Weird thing is, this person had not been at the camp and I still have no idea when they got my phone.

Now there were a lot of other embarrassing events that happened this night but I think I am going to stick to just one for this story…

At the beginning of the night the toilets had been open and so as soon as I had needed to go I could – without any difficulties or complication. But as the night drew to an end the toilets closed and I had broken the seal.
For anyone who doesn’t know what this means it is pretty simple. When you drink alcohol, if you go to the toilet in the first hour you will need to keep going back to the toilet throughout the whole night.
Now I don’t know if this is true and I don’t know what the science behind this is (if you do feel free to let me know in the comments section below), all I know is that on this particular occasion … it was definitely true. I had been yo-yoing back to the toilets all night. So time to leave rolled round and I needed the toilets … but they had been locked. Now the friend I had been with also needed the toilet and we both made different decisions. She decided to go down towards the sea and used the darkness of the night to act as a cloak. I on the other hand decided to wait to use the toilet on the train.

When we got to the train station we had missed the first train and we were having to wait for another one. I was sat on a bench in the station rocking back and forth desperate for the train to arrive and for me to be able to use the toilet. Now we weren’t the only people on the train station. There were also some guys who had been at the party sat on the next bench over.
Now in reality the train only took a few minutes to get to the station but I was desperate for the toilet and drunk and so those few minutes felt as if they had lasted an entire lifetime. When the train did arrive I was not wasting anytime in heading to the bathroom. I walked into the toilet and clicked the button for the door to slide shut and began to pull down my jeans when I heard a voice behind me say,
“I’m just going to shut the door for you darling alright?”
I spun around to realise that the door hadn’t shut and that I had been pulling my jeans down in front of a whole carriage of people.

To the guy who shut the door I just wanted to say thank you. I had made a mistake and drunk too much that night. I wasn’t really able to look after both my shoes let alone myself and I am so grateful that you saved my dignity. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You really did restore my faith in humanity that night.

So after nearly stripping in front of a whole carriage I thought that the night couldn’t get any worse. It did. My experience had sobered me up a little bit and so luckily I was in the right mind set to handle the next disaster. As I walked across to where my friend had been sitting I noticed something. There were little bits of paper all across the seats and as I looked closer I realised my friend had ripped up her train ticket.
Usually the station I would go to has a gate which is left open after 10pm so that you can easily leave but, in case you hadn’t noticed, this wasn’t a usual day.
The train stopped six stops from where I needed to be and asked all passenger’s to exit the cars and for a moment we had no idea what was going on. For a moment I wondered if there was a bomb but I quickly came to find that this was not the case. Someone had drunkenly fallen onto the tracks further down the line and so all trains had stopped to ensure their safety. The last train of the night had been cancelled and I was still half hour from home.

So it was 12:04pm and I was stood on a platform with my drunken friend with no ticket surrounded by police officers and no money and no way to get home. Great.

So I did the only thing I could think to do. I called my mum who had to drive to pick me up.
It was then time to confess. The police officer was curious as to why my friend didn’t have a ticket and we had a choice to make. We could tell the truth… we had been drinking underage and she had ripped up her ticket, or we could let the officer believe we had snuck onto the train without a ticket. We did the first one. Luckily the officer took pity on me when I told him my tale of woe and he let my friend and I out of the station where we waited for my mother to pick us up.

So there you have it – one event from one of the most embarrassing nights of my life. I hope you enjoyed this story if you did don’t forget to click the LIKE button. If you have had any similar experiences please leave me a comment below and make me feel a little bit better about myself. Don’t forget to subscribe for more embarrassing stories about my failure. If you have a blog of your own you can subscribe through that and if you don’t you can subscribe with your email and it will send you out a notification every time I upload. If you want more and cant wait until next week click here for a story similar to this one …


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