Hey hi my Lovelies! My name is Tanya Macpherson and I post on my blog every Friday at 7pm. This week we are coming back to the TaleTime segment of TanyaTale whereby I share the awkwardness and embarrassment of my past for your enjoyment. Today we are going to be doing TaleTime a little differently. I am going to be telling you two stories at once spanned across ten years both of which are rather similar and can act as a perfect explanation of why I don’t seem to learn from my mistakes. So settle in and take a breath because this is about to get crazy!
Don’t forget to like, subscribe and comment and check out my other TaleTime segments by clicking here. Happy reading my Lovelies … and don’t judge me too much!
So the first story begins when I was 8 years old and in primary school. I’ve always been a little awkward but back then I was more than awkward, I was straight up weird. I was in an extra lesson which happened after class finished and we were sat in a small group of students who needed help with spelling or handwriting or something like that. This was the second or third week of doing these lessons and during those weeks I had established a pretty hard crush on one of the boys who was also in the extra lesson. Now just in case, by some strange coincidence, he stumbled upon this post I am not going to use his name because he does not need reminding of this event. Instead I am going to call him “Dave.”
Something I feel it is important for you to know is that “Dave” was the boy of every eight year old girl’s dreams. I mean seriously, I have spoken to some friends about primary school crushes and they have all agreed that he was cute! So I was sat opposite him and while the teacher rambled on about one thing or another I was sat day dreaming about “Dave.” Now even if what happened next hadn’t have happened I am pretty sure he would have known I fancied him since I WAS STARING. Like I said WEIRD.
Anyway, the classroom was quiet because there were only five or six pupils in these lessons and so even a whisper would have been heard. Not that I did whisper, nope. I practically yelled out loud “Wow Dave is Handsome.” Right. In. Front. Of. Him. I obviously did not mean to say this aloud and it wasn’t until another boy who I was sat next to looked up from his doodle covered exercise book for the first time that lesson to look at me in shock horror, that I realised that the comment I made was not made in my head.
Now if you’ve ever thought that primary school teachers must be the most lovely people alive with so much tolerance and patience and an ability to work well with kids, you are wrong. This teacher could have saved the day. She could have kept teaching and talking and pretending that nothing had ever happened but no. Instead she chose to stop. To look at me – with a face that asked if I was mentally stable – and to reply to my comment by saying “Okay.” Okay? Okay! What in the world made her think that my mistake needed highlighting by saying Okay!
Little need to say that “Dave” and I never did become a couple. I think after that incident he was scared that if he so much as stood on the same playground as me I would have a breakdown and end up stalking him into old age. And I really do not blame him.
And that’s the end of that memory. Now anyone would think that a normal person would have learnt from their mistakes. A normal person would have learnt to filter their words before they came out their mouth … but as we have established I am far from normal.
Ten years later an 18 year old Tanya was sat at home in a Disney princess Onesie when she made the EXACT SAME MISTAKE. It was a Sunday and I had been home alone all day. It was nearly 5pm and I was bored out of my mind when from my garden I had heard a knock on my neighbour’s front door. Now I feel it important to note that I was putting the washing out and it was quiet so naturally I could hear every word being spoken. I heard the guy introduce himself as a Jehovah’s Witness and I heard my neighbour say that he wasn’t interested and I heard the door shut. I went inside and after a moment there was a knock on my door.
Like I said, I was bored. I hadn’t spoken to anyone all day and I figured that speaking to a Jehovah’s Witness for ten minutes or so wasn’t an awful idea. So I galloped down the hall and swung open the front door. Now imagine a religious guy, who would be knocking round trying to convert other people. Picture him clearly in your head. That was what I was expecting but that was not what I got. Upon opening the door there was a very attractive man only a few years older than myself stood on my doorstep. And in true Tanya style I managed to embarrass myself without even trying.
Now firstly you will remember I was in my Onesie … my Disney princess onesie at that and secondly I have no filter. So I opened the door, saw a very handsome man and decided the best thing to do was say “My god you’re fit!” Not only had I used the lord’s name in vein but I had also shouted at another innocent boy that I thought that they were fit. Ten years on and I hadn’t learnt my lesson. It also turns out that I hadn’t learnt how to deal with the situation in a cool way yet either because what I did probably scared the guy to death.
I SHOUTED SORRY IN HIS FACE BEFORE SLAMMING THE DOOR AND CURLING UP INTO A BALL AND CRINGING SO HARD I CRIED. Yup … that’s me. Some people will never learn.
So I hoped you enjoyed these two adjoining stories and I hope I have weirded you out too much. I promise I am only a disaster 99% of the time. That other 1% I am an angel. So don’t forget to click that like button and show me I haven’t scared you off and comment below with times you have embarrassed yourself in front of someone you fancied so I feel a little more normal. Also don’t forget to subscribe by clicking the button if you have a WordPress account or by entering your email in the bar below to get email updates! Until next time my Lovelies have a happy week.